Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
