can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
