it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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