before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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