Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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