Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need to calm my uterus...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
