I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
