I heard we made out
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Blood and glitter go together right?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
