I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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