he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize