Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
are you so shy because you have an std?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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