Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
