Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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