OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Holy sore nipples Batman
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
