He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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