so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
