I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
