I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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