i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
