wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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