I don't think brook has ever known best
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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