When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
