My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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