Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
