1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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