So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
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Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
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Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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