So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
