this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
