She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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