She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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