You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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