i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
