Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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