I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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