dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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