So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
this hospital has no fireball
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
