I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
