Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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