hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
