do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
