So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
