dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
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I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
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I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize