Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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