Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
