Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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