listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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