Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
