maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
