I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
