Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
