She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
