Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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