I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
