Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
