I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
