i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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