last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
