I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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