and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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