I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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