Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
where are you?
Hypothermia
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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