come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
whose parrot is this?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
