I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm really busy with my period
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