Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
