lets start a swedish sibling band together
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize