Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
