i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
