I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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