I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
worst night to have a conscience
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
