coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
