I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Randomize
