I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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